Lack of posting, Iritation and good stuff

Egads!!!!!!!!!
Firstly an apology to all five of you for such a serious lack of posting. Have been up to my eyeballs in work and pet emergencies and birthdays etc…

Oh and hopefully avoiding my birthday for a while…



As for the rant on the political side of living in this pronounced hellhole.

Thabo Mbeki has announced that there is no crises in Zimbabwe and the boatload of bloody great RPG’s and AK47’s sitting in our harbour are not destined for Zim (they are) which is not on the bad boys list of human rights violations (Ahem yes they are)
And were not in fact ordered by Robert Mugabe to assist with his ballot stuffing intimidation of the voting recount or runoff in Zim to win what has already been lost…
I haven’t posted any links to this due to the outrage meter having been broken aand the needle has broken the sound barrier in its revolutions around the gauge.
Its things like this that make me feel that political assassination definitely has its place in modern society


On to more cheerful news
Tomorrow will be looking at an engine for a 1934 Rudge Ulster to rebuild.
For those who don’t know thir classic and vintage motorcycles this was a multiple top three contender for the Isle of Mann TT and GP events back in 1934.
Have included a pic of what it will hopefully look like should I complete it

It's shopping Jim but not as we know

With apologies to Star Trek

1) On being asked to join your Fiance, her best friend and her mother for clothes shopping find a way to duck out of it

2) When this fails it acceptable to fein injury or some chronic ilness

3) When this also fails dismally try to tell them that you will be at the coffeeshop, pub, banging your head against a wall and to meet you for coffee, alcohol, surgery after their shopping

4) This too will ultimately fail... sheer unadulterated hel

We just happenned to head off to the busiest mall on the planet at month end with braying harpies, overweight males and screaming monkeys... er children

Don't get me wrong I think I must be the luckiest male alive to have the fiance I do, we have the ssame tastes in music, clothes, movies, pc games and RPG's (I kid you not!) but....

Lets put it this way. She see's an item she doesn't like. I don't like it. We both know the other hates it. Yet she will still try it on and ask me my opinion... HUH??

Maybe I'm too much of a knuckle dragging member of the male species to fully comprehend all that is a lady in full shopping mode but I would much rather have been relaxed in the pub nursing a pint of the black stuff and swearing at the paer...

*sigh* I love her too much to say no

Linky Love....

Just finished readin through MedicMarch's blog and I have to say that that gentleman is EXTREMELY amusing

Don't worry my sense of humour was tragically warped the day I learned about Monty Python and Blackadder and hasn't recovered since.... Nor will it if I have anything to say about it!

And in other news

First off I see by ye olde site meter that I have been visited by someone in Lithuania!
Well hello there, drop us a line in the comments and ease my hugely overheated curiosity

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Secondly I HAD to share this and throw some snark at it, The quote is from Reuters

"Robbery ends in black
Police in central England are hunting
for a badly scorched, would be
copper power cable thief, after
finding a hacksaw embedded in an
11 000 volt power cable on saterday night.
The thief, who also left a lit blow-torch
at the scene, is expected to be badly
charred, spiky haired and not the
brightest bulb in the socket. Searches
of local hospitals had so far not found
the culprit, a spokesperson for the
Derbyshire police said on Tueday.
Reuters"

Ahem....

Not the brightest bulb in the socket????
Hell he must have been glowing enough for arliners to see him!

Lets take a gander at this for a moment.
First off he had to decide that increasing his financial lot in life would be benifited by the acquasition of some copper wire..

No problem there

Our enterprising idiot then had to climb up to a power line which any idiot could have figured out was dangerous to start with.
He then had to take further leave of his senses, fire up the blow-torch and then decide that the big METAL hacksaw was the better option....
Darwin would be proud.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heh, the police might want to check the english channel and see if he managed to spectacularly blast himself all the way over there...

BACA in South Africa... YES PLEASE!!!!!

Over at Strings I learn that 1) I have been blogrolled (many thanks!!) and 2) That a chapter of BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) may be opened here

We really need that here.

Children are abused in such horrific manners that I wish it were not illegal to kill the abusers!

Children as young as 6 months old are raped (They think it cures aids)
Children are trafficked for sex slavery
Children are beaten to death
Teachers assault children in all manner of ways
Children and babies are murdered to make "traditional medicine" from their bodies
And more besides

So if anyone knows about BACA out here please let me know and will be honoured to ride with you
*sigh*

New to the Blogroll

Righto just added (on the riight over there.... no the other right) a new favourite person to read. Check out strings who is a good all round fine motorcycling gentlemen, helper of those in need and another geek to add to the list

I am NOT this bad!.....Am I?

Sooooooooooo took a nerd test.

Will let anybody else be the judge of this one

Ruminations from the father... fourth installment

To continue my fathers rather interesting lifestyle back in the good old days I bring you the fourth chapter in the saga of his youth...

Chapter 4-Hot Rod Gang.


Riding with the manne became more regular and I spent less weekend time on my Pegaso. I was now more used to the speed and power of the big BSA. Riding pillion while tooling around town looking menacing was no problem, but special skills were needed to survive the high-speed chases in which we were involved.
Riding away from the cops was no problem as their cars were too slow and couldn’t handle like our bikes. Speedcops were a bit harder but their bikes were heavy and not too well maintained. They were mostly single carb 650cc Triumphs or heavy 500cc BMW’s with panniers so they didn’t chase too far.
The biggest danger came from other motorcycle brekers or the Hot Rod boys. Some of those big Yankee V8’s could really motor and some could even handle a bit. The jammy that gave us the most grief was a Studebaker Hawk some okes in Brakpan had. They spent a lot of time at the Casbah Roadhouse and one Saturday night, we cruised past to scope out the situation and, sure enough, they were there, two Brakpan breekers with their cherries and three of their mates in a ‘57 Chevy, also reputed to be hot.
We were on four bikes, two solo and two two-up. Spike and I were on the BSA, Kenny and his brother on the Goldie, Eddie on the Matchless and Johnnie on the Ducati. It was a metallic red and gold 200cc Elite with the anatomical tank and I really coveted it. I promised myself that one day, I’d own one. Johnnie was a really hard case. He was short and slightly built and wore Buddy Holly glasses but he was completely ruthless in a rumble. He carried a switchblade he’d bought in Lorenco Marques and had a sawn-off broom handle clipped under the seat of the Ducati. I liked him but I was always a bit wary of him He didn’t look dangerous like Spike did but he was. He even had a path in his hair and a kuif and he was as unpredictable as hell. A lot of guys carried switchblade knives but Johnnie had used his to lem more than one unlucky breker. No-one had died but that wasn’t Johnnie’s fault. If that blade snapped open, the look on his face let you know that you were in real trouble.
We pulled in about three bays away and the jollers in the voemies started checking us out. It wasn’t long before the banter turned serious, which ended up with Spike and the Hawk lined up in the street in front of the Roadhouse, engines revving, pointing to the circle at Mandy’s Engineering. Eddie waved Spike’s white scarf and with white smoke pouring from the Stud’s rear tyre, they rocketed off towards the circle. As they disappeared into the night, we could see that Spike was falling behind. We heard the roar of the V8 motor off in the distance, some squealing tyres and Spike’s headlight emerged about ten yards ahead of the Studebaker which was closing the gap fast. As they flashed past us, Spike was a bike length ahead.
What had happened was the Studebaker had reached the circle about 20 yards ahead of Spike who entered the circle on the correct line. The guy in the Stud gooi’d voet too much too soon exiting the circle and ended up going sideways on the pavement as the rear wheels spun and lost traction. Spike saw the gap and dived into the lead which he managed to hold on to.
Back at the Roadhouse, the driver of the Hawk was tuning how he’d actually won as his car was faster, which it was. I saw the look cross Johnnie’s face and thought “Oh no, this is going to cause bloodshed!” He stepped up, a head shorter and 60 pounds lighter and moered this oke on the side of the jaw. He went down without a sound to a stunned silence from all the patrons at the roadhouse, who were watching with trepidation, ready to duck out if things got out of hand.
A second later the balloon burst and two of the guys in the Chevy rushed over and we were all grappling around in the bright lights of the roadhouse forecourt. There were no clean Hollywood punches which do no damage and allow the hero to completely recover in ten seconds. It was an undignified grappling interspersed with wild swipes, most of which missed. Those that didn’t, however, banged into the head or ribs with jarring, strength sapping force, too many of which would soon end the fight. Fortunately, the pain comes later.
The first rule in a rort is “stay on your feet”. If you go down, someone is going to skop your ribs stukkend, and your head and other sensitive things if they can.
One of the cherries had taken off her shoe and was hacking at Eddie’s back with the stiletto heel. He didn’t seem to notice and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Chevy shoot out of the parking area and head towards town. In what seemed like seconds later we saw it coming back with two more cars filled with Brakpan brekers, one of the hardier of the species.
It was time to make a duck, not easy when a 200 pound bully‘s got you round the neck and is hammering his fist into your ribs. Johnnie was holding two at bay with his broomstick and uncompromising attitude while Spike and Eddy started their bikes. I stamped the steel tipped heel of my Jarman as hard as I could into the instep of my tormentor and his interest moved elsewhere. I jumped on behind Spike and we rode straight at the brekers Johnnie was trying to bludgeon into unconsciousness while he ran and started the Ducati. As soon as it started, we flashed out of the roadhouse, just as the cars turned in. The ride back to Boksburg was interesting to say the least. That damn Studebaker was right on our tails. He just couldn’t catch us with three other guys in the car and as we got to the circle before Benoni, he lost it again. The circle was quite small, not like the one at Mandy’s, we just flicked left, flicked right and we were through, not as easy for the Studebaker though. He hit the kerb of the circle with his front wheel and went sideways into the bluegum saplings next to the road, his headlights disappearing in a cloud of dust and leaves.
We hammered on through Benoni and on to Spike’s house in Boksburg. What a jol! When a night like that’s over and you’ve survived, you just can’t stop talking. We took stock and cleaned up before going home. My nose was bleeding and my ribs hurt like hell when I laughed. Johnnie was unmarked as usual. With him, the other guys hurt. Spike had chipped a front tooth and his knuckles were graunched. Eddy had a split lip and heel prints on the back of his lummie where the high heels had torn the leather. We felt elated and for about half an hour, struggled to control almost hysterical laughter. Everything was funny, Spike’s broken tooth, my torn and bloody shirt, the way the oke dropped when Johnnie popped him, the way the okes passed us as we left the Roadhouse, everything.
We’d pay tomorrow with dull throbbing pain and explanations we thought were highly credible but didn’t fool our parents for a minute. But man, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything! However, for months we had to avoid Brakpan and keep a wary eye open for the Studebaker. We heard that the oke was really the moer-in and was looking for us to explain how much he didn’t like the bluegum dents in the side of his Hawk. We felt it inadvisable to visit the Casbah for a while and took to cruising Jules Street and Braamfontein, which was a residential area then.

Apologies and... WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off a severe apology is in order for the sheer length of time between posts
(If I still have readers) Cue crickets.....

Secondly it pains me that the first post I put up is a link to a new proposed law (or some such) http://www.da.org.za/da/Site/Eng/News/Article.asp?ID=8687 ( I can't bring myself to put the whole lot in here)

The basic gist of that above load of absolute thungas is that the minister of safety and security would like to classify pepper spray, tasers/stun guns and knives, of all types kitchen included, as dangerous weapons and make it illegal to carry them. YER WHAT!!!!!!!

Many people carry just such items for self defence in a country where it is almost impossible to get oneself a gun for self defense. Unless illegally obtaining them is your cup of tea that is

This boils down into the fact that it is legally sanctioned to be robbed, raped, threatened etc, and YOU CAN"T DO A THING ABOUT IT!!!!

Ahem

Victim in court: Your Honour het tried to rape me and mug me so I defended myself

Judge: Your statement says you used your car keys is that correct?

V: Yes it is

J: you do realise that defending yourself is Illegal. You are hereby sentenced to life without parole and the criminal is exonerated. Case dismissed

V: WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruminations from the father... the third

And now for the 3rd chapter in my fathers chronicles of a semi misspent youth...

Chapter 3-Dance a little bit to the Bop, to the Bop.


Saturday night was session time. Sports Clubs raised money by organizing dances where people danced to records played on a radiogram, a combination of radio and record player built into a cabinet with a speaker. These record players could play 78rpm shellac discs stacked onto a pin in the centre of the turntable or LP’s (long players-33 1/3rpm records only recently obsolete). Some could play EP’s (extended play records turning at 45rpm with two cuts per side) but the point was you came to jive, meet girls and pose with your mates.

People also organized Saturday night parties for invited friends and if you were brave, to took your own records to add to the music. The 78rpm shellac discs broke easily if they were dropped or mishandled. This didn’t stop people from bringing them though.

It was very important to make the proper entrance to these events. We’d arrive on five or six bikes and sit and rev the motors a few times before cutting the engines. This let everybody know that the bad guys had arrived, and we’d gather outside before walking through the door. Three paces through the door and you’d stop, check out the scene and comb your hair to show that you were the brekers who had come on the bikes. Once all the gang were through the door and had checked the hall for potential enemies from other towns, you’d have to find space on the chairs arranged around the room. The best scheme was to find some mates and move things about or intimidate some lesser unfortunates into moving.

Now came the interesting part. The unaccompanied guys sat on one side of the hall and the babes on the other. You’ scope them out, walk across to the chosen one and tune “Howzit, do you wanna dance?” With luck she’d say ”yes” and you were away.


Jiving had a little more contact than today’s popular dance styles with about five basic moves. Good dancers put their own variations into these moves and if a couple were dancing well, the other dancers would form a circle around them, clapping in time to the music and shouting encouragement.


By mid–evening some jollers would be smoking those strange cigarettes again and would be getting very restless and loud. Booze wasn’t allowed at these dos but some okies smuggled in their own dop in a half-jack bottle wrapped in brown paper. I never discovered what the brown paper was supposed to achieve, it was pretty obvious what they were up to, but I guess it made them feel terribly devious and bad. “Check me out, ous, I’m drinking this dop and nobody knows because it’s wrapped in brown paper”.

By about 11 o’clock the ous would be a bit smoked and would decide to go and soek some grief in town. Out to the bikes and five or six of us rumbling slowly through the streets, looking for trouble. Riding past the Plaza scopes, the Town Hall looking for anyone checking us skeef and on to other known session venues to find a party to crash.


The best jol was to ride to another town and pull up outside a session where a lot of bikes were parked. We’d sit on the bikes revving the motors and watching the entrance. The local jollers would burst through the entrance to answer the challenge and go for their bikes. Inter-town rivalry was intense and often led to some serious boxing in the streets as the manne sorted out their territorial conflicts.


We’d wait until they’d almost got started, drop the clutches and thunder off into the night. Hurtling down Main Reef Road at midnight sitting behind a half gerookde breker with no fear, pursued by ten irate Germiston ducktails is not the sort of thing you tell your mother about. Fortunately we never got caught and we’d rock up at the session with adrenalin pumping through the system. I never needed boom or dop, they only slow you down and, even better, adrenalin doesn’t give you a hangover.


Another great joll was going to the ‘scopes in Johies, especially to an Elvis movie. Jailhouse Rock brought all the manne out. Unless you rocked up three hours early and stood in a huge queue, you missed out. The street outside the cinema was packed with bikes, at least a hundred, parked at right angles to the pavement which was full of people. Even the press was there, taking photos for tomorrow’s papers. The atmosphere inside was charged with excitement. We were going to see our own boy Elvis. It’s amazing now that one person could stir up such a frenzy of emotion, but nothing like this had happened before. We’d had Frank Sinatra in America but he was an old man now and a crooner to boot, boring when compared to Rock and Roll.


Johnny “Cry Baby” Ray had girls fainting at his shows, but the Elvis phenomenon was our first taste of mass hysteria. When he came onto the screen for the first time, half the girls in the audience screamed with emotion and the guys cheered, such was his presence. He represented the non-conformist rebel we all felt we were. And what’s more, he looked the part, dark, brooding and a loner, misunderstood and dangerous. It was marketing at its most successful.



Coming out of the cinema into the bright street lights, being part of the noise and excitement of the bikes starting up together and roaring out into the city was an experience hard to top even in these much more sophisticated times. The traffic just had to wait while a hundred bikes started up and peeled out into the street. Gene Vincent said it all for us when he sang:
“Say Mamma, Can I go out tonight?
Say Mamma, will that be all right?
They’ve got a rockin’ party going down the street,
Say Mamma, can you hear that beat?
Woah woah woo woo woah woah woo woo woah.”

(Note for everyone else. In south African slang an "Ou" is another word for guy, "Joll" means party or fun and "Cherries" refers to members of the female persuasion)

Memeshness In The Lair

Just thought I'd add this one in as well seeing as one or two out there didn'y know who else would play.

This might add some more info on ye olde Cave Troll for the interested

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When I last saw Schindlers list and whenever I read the paper and then have to be told its illegal to beat 182 kinds of snot out of our government members

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? So thats what those squiggles are i was wondering about tha... holy S$)^ that's last weeks due work AAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? A good, well spiced german salami

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Never in my life will I do that to myself

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Possibly

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Not at all... No Really I don't.... yaaahsodoff....

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Again.... Yes, would prefer to try base jumping though

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Woolworths in SA have a wonderful chocolate and muesli cluster thingy... add choc nesquik and milk and off you go

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?Untie or unbuckle depending if its a shoe or boot

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Strong but not enough yet for my liking

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cherry Vanilla

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?I try not to but usually attitude and their ability to speak english (if they are native speakers that is) correctly, and most importantly their sense of humour

RED OR PINK? Black edged with purple or silver

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Lets leave that one shall we... My temper is particularly bad

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My mind

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black and... wait for it... black (predictable or what)

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Cottage Pie with loads of shredded cheese

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Sin" by NIN just ended, "and "gothic Girl" by 69 Eyes is about half way through, next up is "Vampire Club" by Voltaire

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?Hmmmm the one that happens after you've left the box in the sun and some of them melt together

FAVORITE SMELLS? Leather, A hot engined Racing motorcycle Clean long hair on my Fiance, Antique books and the nose on a particularly good Irish Whiskey

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? The Estate agent

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Moto gp, world cup cricket and any fighting sport except karate

HAIR COLOR[S]? Black (natural)

EYE COLOR? Green and yellow

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yes.

FAVORITE FOOD? Proper sushi but just about anything Asian

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary Movies ( no not typical slasher things where the bad guy should be shot by the end of scene one but vaguely demonic type stuff like prophecy.. hellraiser etc

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? In a theater? Ghost Rider. At home? BloodRayne.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? And once again its.....Black

SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter I prefer the cold so that I am able to think

HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on the mood

FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate Delight with Special Secret Sauce (My thanks to Nanny Ogg for that one)

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Wouldn't have a clue

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? See the one up there? Yep the same...

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Re reading Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and the Athiest Manifesto

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Its Green with MECS Africa project support on it in white. Well it was free at work

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? The News

FAVORITE SOUND[S]? Unsilenced Motorcycles and good music (goth to the rest of you)

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Ummmm only one or two songs from the Rolling stones

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Antalya Turkey

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Er I manage to haul people out if bouts of depression???? oh I can sing... Bass to Baritone

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Cork Ireland (although Lived almost all of me life in 'orrible South Africa)


WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Somebody's??

*Sigh* I wish it were me....

First off an apology for not writing in the last couple of days... Seems me stomach had an invasion of dwarfs with flamethrowers so was not a happy chap... ah well all sorted now.

The folks Flew off yesterday in the wee hours for a pootle around France for three weeks visisting medievil towns and palaces, the beaches of Normandy, beauitiful countryside and of course much of Paris including the awesome majesty of the Louvre....

I want to go too!!!

I know I am possibly a little too old for a temper tantrum but I'm kicking my feet and banging my club on the floor in pure Jealousy!!!

They deserve the Holiday though. Nigh on three decades of putting up with me and 45 years at work has left my father saying enough! He wants to now build his classic racing motorcycles (yes note the plural we have 4 collectively, possibly more on that at a later stage) and maybe get round to fixing the damnedable 1976 Jaguar parked in the garage...

Happy Fathers Day dad albeit a bit late and I hope you enjoy the trip to beautiful France.

Cave Troll

Theatrical Tricks

My soon to be lovely lady wife and I somehow managed to get onto the topic of strip clubs (still trying to work out how that one happened) and as a result I was subsequently mugged down memory lane.

First off I'm not a fan of strip clubs they seem vaguely pointless to me but I had one or rwo friends that dragged me to one on the odd occasion. Nothing of interest happened, one or two guys got thrown out and I fired twenty questions at the dancers but all in all rather quiet.

... Not s this little story though

When I was still a fairly strapping young lad, about 5 years ago, I was studying a completely different field to the one I now work in. I used to be a lighting technician for theatre, concerts etc and studied that. Was pretty Durn good at it too.

As a result, a friend of mine and myself were asked to work in one of the bigger of the above clubs for a ladies night featuring some international dancers to impress the ladies presen. (a good load of money and free drinks were part of the package.

Upon arrival we noticed one or two odd things about the place. The bar was caged. The dressing room was gaurded and locked. The lighting and DJ booth was completely caged with an open section to the side big enough for a waitress to pass a drink through or something of that size...

Right... ok...

This was distinctly odd.. 'Other male orientated venues don't have this so what the Heeeelll is this' we asked ourselves. The owner just laughed and said we would find out in due course.

By the Pantheon did we find out!!!!

It all started out well, we did our setup checked everything and had a drink or two before the start and the Lady viewers started arriving. Now both of us had long hair and semi goatee style whiskers and 2 years lugging heavy lighting and sound equipment had toned us both quite nicely so the ladies gave a few catcalls etc. Nothing unexpected barring some of those comments coming from 70 year old ladies was a touch unnerving.

The show started and the ladies started hitting the bar...

Things got a little wild after that.

As soon as the last item of clothing dropped from the last dancer he promptly fled to the back and they locked themselves in. We had discovered the reason for the locked cages.

The women had been getting wilder as the entertainment progressed. As soon as the show finished they went completely spare, rushing the stage, and trying to get us out of our little hidey hole.

Both of us stand over 6 feet in height and as I say were rather fit but we were both scared out of our soggy little minds! One worthy was even trying to jemmy the lock on our gate with a steel ashtray!

We only climbed out once we were assured that not only had the audience left the building but left the parking lot as well!! we decided to take the owner up on his free drinks part of the payment to steady our somewhat frazzled nerves all the while with him laughing like a heyena the bloody time!!!
Never again
Never ever again...

Cave Troll

What the.....

Ah powerfauilures... Great for alittle candellit romance a hot bath with the remaining hot water in the geyser and some grade A cuddling.

All absolutely wonderful ideas for an evenings power failure but not somehow for a week.

Yes people, here in 'Sunny South Africa' someone somewhere close to my work and home managed to blow up a couple of Transformers at the big distributing substation for the area... and it was NOT terrorism but rather poor to non existant maintanance... http://www.iol.co.za/ can show you all the glorius pictures etc, with the story but don't believe their accusations of foul play. The south African government loves doing that whenever they might be shown to be completely bloody stupid.

*sigh*

Am I ranting too much?
Is it too much to expect ye old tax dollar going toward good governance rather than huge parties over at the govs house?
Seems that way

I would protest and not pay taxes but I'll land up in the klink which I'd rather avoid... too big to fit :) heh heh

One of these days I'll post an "If I was President" post but that might get me in trouble with the human rights people... again

Cave Troll

I'm who?!?!?!?!?!

Hmmmmm... the complete and utter nerd in me suggested that I REALLY wanted to try the this little one out after seeing it on another blog.

The results were rather odd i thought but oh well... I have a lobster on my head then...

Your results:You are Worf

Worf
100%

Will Riker
85%

James T. Kirk (Captain)
75%

Jean-Luc Picard
75%

Chekov
70%

Mr. Sulu
70%

Mr. Scott
60%

Geordi LaForge
60%

An Expendable Character (Redshirt)
60%

Spock
59%

Leonard McCoy (Bones)
50%

Data
48%

Uhura
40%

Deanna Troi
35%

Beverly Crusher
25%

You are trained in the art of combatand are usually intimidating.

Click here to take the "Which startrek character are you?" quiz...

on the other hand...

Cave Troll

New site and old stories

\Greetings all

Just changed over to the blogger site from another seems to be a fair whack more user friendly.

Right on with the... whatever...

For those keeping pace with my old mans troublemaking back in the 50's and 60's I give you chapter 3 in the continuing saga:



Chapter 3-Dance a little bit to the Bop, to the Bop.


Saturday night was session time. Sports Clubs raised money by organizing dances where people danced to records played on a radiogram, a combination of radio and record player built into a cabinet with a speaker. These record players could play 78rpm shellac discs stacked onto a pin in the centre of the turntable or LP’s (long players-33 1/3rpm records only recently obsolete). Some could play EP’s (extended play records turning at 45rpm with two cuts per side) but the point was you came to jive, meet girls and pose with your mates.
People also organized Saturday night parties for invited friends and if you were brave, to took your own records to add to the music. The 78rpm shellac discs broke easily if they were dropped or mishandled. This didn’t stop people from bringing them though.
It was very important to make the proper entrance to these events. We’d arrive on five or six bikes and sit and rev the motors a few times before cutting the engines. This let everybody know that the bad guys had arrived, and we’d gather outside before walking through the door. Three paces through the door and you’d stop, check out the scene and comb your hair to show that you were the brekers who had come on the bikes. Once all the gang were through the door and had checked the hall for potential enemies from other towns, you’d have to find space on the chairs arranged around the room. The best scheme was to find some mates and move things about or intimidate some lesser unfortunates into moving.
Now came the interesting part. The unaccompanied guys sat on one side of the hall and the babes on the other. You’ scope them out, walk across to the chosen one and tune “Howzit, do you wanna dance?” With luck she’d say ”yes” and you were away.
Jiving had a little more contact than today’s popular dance styles with about five basic moves. Good dancers put their own variations into these moves and if a couple were dancing well, the other dancers would form a circle around them, clapping in time to the music and shouting encouragement.
By mid–evening some jollers would be smoking those strange cigarettes again and would be getting very restless and loud. Booze wasn’t allowed at these dos but some okies smuggled in their own dop in a half-jack bottle wrapped in brown paper. I never discovered what the brown paper was supposed to achieve, it was pretty obvious what they were up to, but I guess it made them feel terribly devious and bad. “Check me out, ous, I’m drinking this dop and nobody knows because it’s wrapped in brown paper”.
By about 11 o’clock the ous would be a bit gerook and would decide to go and soek some grief in town. Out to the bikes and five or six of us rumbling slowly through the streets, looking for trouble. Riding past the Plaza scopes, the Town Hall looking for anyone checking us skeef and on to other known session venues to find a party to crash.
The best jol was to ride to another town and pull up outside a session where a lot of bikes were parked. We’d sit on the bikes revving the motors and watching the entrance. The local jollers would burst through the entrance to answer the challenge and go for their bikes. Inter-town rivalry was intense and often led to some serious boxing in the streets as the manne sorted out their territorial conflicts.
We’d wait until they’d almost got started, drop the clutches and thunder off into the night. Hurtling down Main Reef Road at midnight sitting behind a half gerookde breker with no fear, pursued by ten irate Germiston ducktails is not the sort of thing you tell your mother about. Fortunately we never got caught and we’d rock up at the session with adrenalin pumping through the system. I never needed boom or dop, they only slow you down and, even better, adrenalin doesn’t give you a hangover.
Another great joll was going to the ‘scopes in Johies, especially to an Elvis movie. Jailhouse Rock brought all the manne out. Unless you rocked up three hours early and stood in a huge queue, you missed out. The street outside the cinema was packed with bikes, at least a hundred, parked at right angles to the pavement which was full of people. Even the press was there, taking photos for tomorrow’s papers. The atmosphere inside was charged with excitement. We were going to see our own boy Elvis. It’s amazing now that one person could stir up such a frenzy of emotion, but nothing like this had happened before. We’d had Frank Sinatra in America but he was an old man now and a crooner to boot, boring when compared to Rock and Roll.
Johnny “Cry Baby” Ray had girls fainting at his shows, but the Elvis phenomenon was our first taste of mass hysteria. When he came onto the screen for the first time, half the girls in the audience screamed with emotion and the guys cheered, such was his presence. He represented the non-conformist rebel we all felt we were. And what’s more, he looked the part, dark, brooding and a loner, misunderstood and dangerous. It was marketing at its most successful.
Coming out of the cinema into the bright street lights, being part of the noise and excitement of the bikes starting up together and roaring out into the city was an experience hard to top even in these much more sophisticated times. The traffic just had to wait while a hundred bikes started up and peeled out into the street. Gene Vincent said it all for us when he sang:
“Say Mamma, Can I go out tonight?
Say Mamma, will that be all right?
They’ve got a rockin’ party going down the street,
Say Mamma, can you hear that beat?
Woah woah woo woo woah woah woo woo woah.”

Gun control, A good comment and South Africa; survival for the use of...

Shadedmauve wrote the following comment :

"oh gosh, more stuff about guns coming in handy! is it really as bad and scary as that?? Good luck to your Dad retiring after all those years - he sounds like he deserves a holiday."

Firstly, many thanks on the good wishes to the father.

Secondly a good many internationals that I have come in contact with have asked much the same question so I believe its time for a gun rant/debate/thingy....
But first here's a word from our sponsers in the shape of some statistics to give you chaps out there something to faint in horror over... In 2006 George Bush's 'body counr' of American casualties in Iraq totalled 20 734. That is in a war. In South Africa under Thabo Mbeki for the same period the 'body count' was 18 793 deaths by homicide. That is nearly the same in number of war casualties MURDERED in South Africa in crime alone... we are as bad as a fully fledged war zone!!!!

This Brings me to the ol' gun quibble stage...

Many people will have everyone believe that gun control and adding a lot of beurocracies to the purchasing and/or licensing (depending where you are in the world) will curb gun related crime. The proponents of said statements seem to forget a few points in there overzealous state...

1) Guns do NOT kill people! People kill people! They have done so for thousands of years with bear hands, sticks, rocks, swords, farming tools, bottles, trebuchets, guns, knives, tables, chairs etc. the list is endless.

2) Gun control can be useful if done correctly ie criminal backround checks etc and attaching a gun to an owner but that can be instantaneous NOT take several weeks to process... This also makes for another even bigger problem...

E. Shmuck is a criminal. He mugs, robs, rapes and murders has been involved in cash in transit heists and all sorts of other nasties. He has a gun. Several in fact. He is not going to be bugged in the slightest that his guns are illegal he doesn't even worry about the legal niceties of owning one. He will not got to a gunshop spending 1500 rand on a new gun and a further 500 rand on all the licensing etc.. No, he will simply call the buddy of a buddy and arrange for an AK 47 plus ammo for around 120 rand (thats about $20 by the way people)

So... this means that the current legislation makes illegal arms sales REALLY profitable and much easier while those of us who try to do things by the book to keep one for self defence or sport or collecting may not even be granted a license... Tha’ts just bloody wonderful now isn't it.
Citizens of an ordinary nature who blow thr hrad off of an armed and dangerous intruder (or intruders in SA) are more likely to be dragged to court and then prison for having the temerity to defend themselves and not do it by the book then the guy who murdered 14 people...

3) All of this ties into one thing though and it was mentioned by LawDog as well as others (in fact go and read all he says the links right next to this... off you go, I'll wait...
Read him? Great stuff...(thank you LawDog for writing it all up so well in the first place) as i was saying... The human mind is the weapon what ever is used becomes the tool.... a gun as a knife, is a tool therefor they are not the root cause of all the evil! Yes you can defend yourself by other means but also, YES owning a gun in this modern day is neccessary because it does put you on a more or less equal footing with the shmuck.

Before my fiance moved in with me i did get into some hairy situations whereby someone wanted to redistribute my possesions and have been armed but i have done a few courses in martial arts and adopted a lot to make it useful so i have come out on top but with being deaf when i take my implant off when i go to sleep and my loved one in the house i feel it imperitive to own one for any dangers that may arise.

And yes I am a paranoid Troll!!!!

Cave Troll

Small news Tidbits from the Troll's lair.... and a 357 magnum!!!!!

Well hello again...

Not much of an amusing nature has passed by the world of Troll today but here is a note or two that might interest...well... someone

First off the old man is retiring after 30 years in the company and nearly 45 years in the industry but somehow i think he'll still be running around the office as a consultant... damn it he doesn't look a day over 40 and still races motorcycles, runs 10 km's a day and is generally fit and healthy... bloody 'ell i can only hope i can maintain myself as well as that... must remember to not beat myself over the head too often with a club...

Secondly, I am a nerd... Imagine if you will a being similar to the LOTR cave troll with banged up 'Buddy Holly' Style glasses a truly 'orrible cardigan with snout pressed against a computer screen absent mindedly knawing half a hobbit. (I look nothing like that but the imagery is true... make of that what you will) I say this because just yesterday I purchased a few new parts for my pc and i had to wear a bib to stop the overexcited dribble landing on them... oh well i have an uber pc now so all is good.

Yesterday in history marked the anniversary of the start of one of the greatest ever, most daunting and most neccesary military invasions in history. Operation Overlord of World War II began with the moving of the Allied troops to the beaches of Normandy to begin the invasion into nazi occupied europe. To all those soldiers i say thank you for your dedication and your sacrifices to all of us. May you rest in paradise as the true nature of heroes and may we never forget the lessons that history has to teach us.

And finally I am to be presented with a present from my soon to be mother in law in the shape of a beautifully conditioned .357 Magnum revolver with a 4" barrel. It just requires a little work to the stocks and sight but otherwise in immaculate condition and is also a very neccessary piece of survival equipment in modern south africa but that will be for a later post.

I'm now going to grab some coffee and try to make sense of work while having improbable daydreams of gun mounted computers...

Cave Troll

Rants of a football

Right after a 'fun' filled weekend working and watching the news (my gray hair count rose from 0 to about 459 365 in one half hour bulletin), I would like to ask any government or similar types out there a few questions about our 2010 world cup aspirations...

Please sir... *raised hand*

Me sir at the back.... *frantically waves hand and bounces in seat*

...

OOOOYYYYY YOU!!!! Government twits!!!

right so...
Firstly i understand the need to MAYBE build one or two new stadia to accomadate the maniacal legions in their persuit of watching the game but ummmm... how are they going to get there?
Oh wait they're building the 'Gautrain' between Joburg and Pretoria... ahh great.. yeah... what about this oddball stadium in heidelburg?? What about the legions of people coming out of Jan Smuts/Johannesburg International/ OR Thambo (this is all the same bloody airport by the by) and heading anywhere on Roads already so congested it takes 1 hour 45 minutes to do what should only be a twenty minute drive...

How many of these poor souls are also going to find themselves stuck in the middle of Hillbrow lost because of road signs that are about as intelligible as Linear A?? People, cardinal rule of south african life number 1: Hillbrow is not a good place to stop and ask for directions late at night... check that if you are suicidal, no matter what race creed or belief then fine go there but if you want to remain alive for the foreseeable future then kindly avoid the place at all costs... hell if a bunch of goths have to drive through there they make sure they're armed with nothing less the Bren Guns and RPG-7's and we are the ones people seem to be scared of?!?!?!?

And ah yes the crime... our dear sweet gvt thingy would have you believe that this isn't a problem... um we the country that makes mexico city look like a holiday resort for toddlers?? Pull the other one Mbeki its got bells on.

And somehow they want to make the 2010 world cup a success.. it won't be. South Africa will become a bigger world wide laughing stock since the minister of Potatoes... er I mean Health screwed up in Canada...

And the ball keeps rolling

Ruminations from the father part deux

Chapter 2-Bert’s Club and where things started to go bad.

Sunday morning was a slow time in the fifties. Sunday activity was restricted by the Sabbath Day Observance Act and most things were closed. The cafes stayed open but they could only sell certain things considered to be “essentials” by the Act. However, by some trick, Bert’s Snooker Club managed to open on Sunday morning until 12 noon so that’s where we headed. Outside, 50cc Itoms, Mosquitos and my Pegaso rubbed side covers with Nortons, BSAs, Triumphs and even the odd car.
Inside we mixed with real men, 19 year old guys who worked and smoked Texans. We were almost the same age but they were light years ahead of us. Here, in the smoky gloom, filled with the sharp “clack” of snooker balls and Little Richard belting out “Wop bop a lubop ba lop bam boom, Tutti frutti-oh rootie”, we took the first steps on the long downhill path to a mis-spent youth.
Not that I was a rebel in the real sense. I was doing OK at school, I was rowing at the local Rowing Club, playing rugby and running at school and got on well with my parents. I didn’t even drink or smoke. But mixing with these guys, ducktails in leather jackets, opened up a view of the world that promised uncertainty and a touch of danger. The attraction was almost impossible to resist.
One of these ducktails lived in a house on the corner near our mine house. His name was Spike Evert and for some reason, we struck up a friendship. Spike looked perfect. He was small and slightly built with a sharp featured face and a thick, black ducktail hairstyle. He wore black shirts, black or blue jeans and a black leather lummie with a fur collar. His trademark was a white scarf which he wore while riding. The girls couldn’t stay away from him for one main reason, he looked and was dangerous.
Spike’s current mount was a BSA Golden Flash over which he’d breathed and it could do a genuine hundred miles per hour with relative ease. He was an apprentice at Timken Roller Bearings and had access to the machine shop where he did his tuning at lunchtime. He’d fitted rear-set footrests and clip-on handlebars and the bike was a forerunner of the Café Racer craze of the sixties. Of course the baffles had been donnered out of the silencers and the whole bike looked and went very well.
One Saturday afternoon, Spike took me to meet his mates and, crouched on the pillion of the BSA, we headed for the La Conga Roadhouse in Elandsfontein. After the power of the Pegaso, The BSA gave me a new perspective on speed. Doing 90 miles per hour in a 1948 Dodge, my dad’s car, was exciting enough. Perched on a hot 650 behind a slightly crazy breker was something else again. We got to La Conga in about a quarter of the time it took me on the Pegaso. We got off the bike blinking away the tears, no-one wore helmets or goggles, the only compulsory headgear being a liberal coating of Brylcreme, and Spike introduced me to the manne.
I met Kenny Hinkman with his 350 Gold Star, Malcolm Quagley, Triumph, Eddy on a twin cylinder Matchless (I never found out what his surname was), Johnny Robards on a 200cc Ducati and George Phillis on another BSA. They were gathered in a group at the back of the parking area, drinking Cokes and smoking strange smelling cigarettes that looked like loosely packed Texans. Well, they came out of a Texan packet anyway.
After a few minutes of idle chat, they finished their smokes and mounted up. The thing to do was to get to the St Moritz Roadhouse three miles away over the hill near the Airport Star Drive-in. This meant leaving the La Conga, around the La Conga circle, over the railway bridge, up the ridge to a quite sharp left hand sweep and flat out down the hill to the St Moritz. As this was Saturday, the traffic was quite light but the route went through three robots. Well ek se, these okes didn’t care about robots! We blasted off into the main drag, either way around the circle, straight through both robots, red or green, and hammered down the hill to the last robot, which seemed to be the finish. All five bonies, modified pipes bellowing, thundered down the hill in a tight bunch seemingly intent on self annihilation. What Johnny had done to that Ducati, I can’t imagine. He was in the middle of the bunch, pushing the Matchless. I guess his weighing in at about 120 pounds had something to do with it. Spike was in front, level with Kenny’s Goldie, my added weight holding him back a bit, with Malcolm, who was a bit heavy, at the back of the bunch with George.
The noise and wind were unbelievable with no helmet to protect ears or face. I was wearing a white shirt which filled with air to balloon out behind me, threatening to choke me. My eyes were streaming and I could see nothing ahead, perhaps that was just as well. I had to turn my head sideways to open my eyes and saw the grove of pines where a Harvard Trainer had crashed, whip past. Kenny was next to us, flat on the tank. He suddenly sat up and I was thrust into Spike’s back, struggling to retain my sweaty grip on the back of the seat as we shot through the last robot to pull up at the St Moritz Roadhouse.
My legs were shaking and my ears buzzing as we cut the motors and climbed off the bikes. Man, I couldn’t believe I was still alive! It seemed to me that these guys were living on the edge of a very unstable cliff. Wow, three robots and no cars, no well lekker, ek se. Crazy as it was, and stupid and irresponsible, I really knew I was alive. It took about three hours for my eyes to close down from saucer size to normal and my pulse rate to drop below 100. My rather sheltered existence had taken a major knock and I realized that there were some really wild okes in this world.
They bought me a Coke and we spent an hour or so sitting on the bikes, tuning the girls who came in cars or on bikes with other guys, attracting some hard looks. However, no-one was going to tune these guys skeef, that was for sure.
Just sitting and talking I began to realize that despite being brekers, they were basically really nice guys. Spike had a razor sharp sense of humour and was much more intelligent then his behaviour would seem to indicate. They had some strange habits and ideas but I was enjoying their company more then I had expected. We rode back to Boksburg surprisingly sedately as dusk fell. We rode slowly enough to shout across the gaps between the bikes and they dropped me off at home at 7 o-clock, in time for supper. I was back to normal.